i wish i could of known when i was younger what the future was to bring. but i don't and i fucked it up. there were so many signs and so much pointing me to what i was SUPOSSED to do, that i got sick of listening and did the wrong thing. i always think about my past and always wonder if i would have known...if i would have changed my decisions. going into senior year seems that it's an unexpected huge step in my life. it won't hit me till the day i walk in that school for my last first day. i wonder if i would have taken someone's offers if my life would have been different...if i would be dead, or even wealthy with happiness. if we would had tried it and it failed...and moved on from eachother. observing movies...and poems is the wrong way to look at life. because it's the movies...and it's literature, unreal. with thinking about my past, and wishing it was still here...i strive to work towards my future and to not fail myself again. i feel regretful in a sense, and i can't get over it. it's a rain cloud hovering over my head, that doesn't give up. i think about the people i've met and grown with, and the people i've met and grew away from. such a wicked web we weave. | 